Divorce is hard. Dark siluets of a man and woman in sunset, clearly in argument.

Divorce is hard

Divorce is so much more than the word indicates. Divorce is one of the biggest stressors that can arise in the lives of individuals, and the sorrow process is often a side effect as well.

Apart from grieving the spouse, there is also grief about the future & future plans that have been made. Feelings like shame, anger, and regret are very common emotions that can be very unconstructive. Those emotions accompany the sorrow process as well. Anger over being abandoned by their spouse, regret over past events & shame that the spouse has decided to leave.

Marriage is a unit or team that makes plans for the future and is always working towards some common goals, whether it is child upbringing, taking care of the household or planning the next holiday.

Individuals often feel like they have to start all over again. If individuals have to move as well, it adds more strain. If a child or children are also involved it is an inevitable extra stress factor.

Studies have shown that between 30% and 40% of individuals that go through a divorce experience anxiety or depression. Divorce involves so many major uncertainties concerning not only the future but also the present. This often leads to fears that develop into anxiety.

It is so important that family and friends show support. Instead of wondering about why, individuals who are going through a divorce need assistance, & care. It is tempting to go over all the possible reasons why a divorce is taking place, but it may not be the best time for those who are in the middle of the divorce process. Being there for your friends or family has the most value for those who are going through a divorce.

Divorce should be taken very seriously. It causes a great deal of emotional stress that needs to be dealt with, in one way or another. Stress, anxiety, or depression can have serious consequences if ignored.

For those who are going through a divorce, I recommend seeking help, either from relatives, friends or professionals. If you know that your friend or family member is going through a divorce I encourage you to be there for that person.

Contact me for more information or for booking an appointment or online therapy: 

Contact me

Picture by Eric Ward 




ADD, what can you do yourself ?

I want to thank for all the positive feedback I got for my previous article about ADD. Furthermore, did I receive a couple of questions. I will try to answer the two most common questions here. What to do if you suspect that your child has ADD & and what can individuals themselves do that don’t want to take medicine.

If a child is suspected to have ADD then the child is likely to be in primary school. Since the symptoms are most often visible in the school. It would be a good start to have a chat with the child’s teacher as he spends considerable time with the child in exactly those situations that require a lot of attention & focus.

The school’s staff should know what the next steps are regarding a diagnosis if there is a strong suspicion that the child has symptoms of ADD.

Adults who have been diagnosed with ADD and do not tolerate well the medicine due to the side effects can do many things themselves.

Regular exercise and a healthy diet are some of the things that can affect focus & mental clarity. A regular and good night’s sleep is no less important. This, of course, applies to both children and adults. Sugary foods do not have a good effect on your blood sugar level and your concentration may fluctuate accordingly. Research has supported the importance of breakfast for example, children who eat regular breakfast (diagnosis or non-diagnosis) perform better in school than the group who did not eat breakfast.

Dietary supplement, where to start?

Omega 3 fatty acids from e.g. fish oil or linseed oil have a very positive effect on mental health and the brain in general. My friend had said that her child’s teacher had seen a difference in the child’s concentration after she began giving the child omega 3 for children.

In addition, have I heard very positive things about Happy Calm Focus. You can read reviews here on Amazon:


However, it is not intended for young children.

Finally, I would like to point out that stress never helps. Stress always worsens symptoms, no matter what form these symptoms are. This applies to chronic pain, ADD, ADHD, OCD, anxiety and so on. Try to avoid stress as much as possible because long-term stress alone has a negative effect on short-term memory.

I can’t end this article without mentioning Mindfulness for all ages. Research is showing that Mindfulness can significantly reduce the symptoms of ADD & ADHD. Well, everything above can be applied to ADHD as well.

I hope you can benefit from this article.

Contact me for more information or for booking an appointment or online therapy: 

Contact me

Picture by Snæþór Sigurbjörn Halldórsson

How to reduce anxiety & improve focus & self-control with just glucose

A good portion of self-control is considered to be a major advantage in many areas of life, as in relationships, in learning, in maintaining good mental health, and in terms of adaptability, to name a few. Self-control has therefore many categories like attention control (concentration) can be one part of self-control as an example.

In addition, self-control is something that can be trained and influenced by a good diet. Research has, among other things, indicated that as early as the age of 4, self-control among children begins to develop & grow stronger.

Many studies have shown that a lack of self-control is to some extent based on poor energy sources. Since the main elements of good self-control are glucose, which is the substance that the body produces by breaking down carbohydrates from food (for example). Glucose provides a lot of our brain function and that includes self-control.

I have a good example that probably most moms & probably dads can relate to, its from one of my dear friends.  A mom for the first time and at that time when I was visiting her, she had a very sleepless night cause of her son. Well, the first thing she did when she woke up was eating leftover cake she had from the day before. Let me tell you, my friend is not the type who eats a cake for breakfast and, in my opinion, has a rather high level of self-control when it comes to food & drinks. This was just such a good example of how our self-control can almost none exist with reduced energy.

One study looked at a group of school kids who ate breakfast vs. those who did not. School kids who ate breakfast had a better concentration at school vs. the other group who skipped breakfast. Breakfast is such a good source of glucose. In addition, hungry children are more likely to behave in a restless manner and be agitated.

If my son comes home from school and is crying for almost no reason, the first thing I do is check his lunch box. In 90% cases, the launch box is almost full, indicating that he has eaten so little during the day.

Support has also been found that when glucose is low, individuals are more likely to experience anxiety, restlessness, and tension, for example.

With that said, one of my friends decided to just eat 1200 calories a day (diet number 100) and then she is always complaining to me that her concentration is so bad. There is no doubt that her blood sugar levels are falling dramatically and there goes her concentration as well.

This article is based on the article by Galliot & Baumeister: The Physiology of Willpower: Linking Blood Glucose to Self-Control & my dear friends. 

Contact me for more information or for booking an appointment or online therapy: 

Contact me

Picture by : Snæþór Sigurbjörn Halldórsson

Attention deficit disorder (ADD), what to look for?

In this article, I would like to draw attention to ADD. ADD is not the same as ADHD, which most people associate with hyperactivity. Individuals can have attention deficit disorder without being hyperactive, and it is very likely that many people have ADD without knowing it.

ADD is, as I said, an attention deficit disorder without hyperactivity. The symptoms can vary for each individual but I will list out common ones here among children.

Typical phrases I associate with ADD are:

“I can´t remember anything”

“I have trouble remembering things”

“I just have such a poor memory”

Of course, children do not remember everything, rather than us the adult people. But if these are common phrases then I look for other symbols e.g. difficulties with a sense of time. For example, it may appear as recurring questions about when an event is.

Other symptoms include procrastination. Does the child delay get started on a task? When the child finally starts, is it difficult for the child to finish the task and stay focused?  

Are you a parent who has repeatedly heard during parent meetings that “he/she can do much more than he/she does”?

Is school challenging because the homework gets “lost” or the child does not “remember” what the homework was about?

Does the child have difficulties with organization of events or things?

Does the child often make mistakes when doing a task, even a light task that you know it can handle?

Is the child often distracted? Or do you as a parent feel that your child is not listening to you? Because the child is distracted?

If you, as a parent, recognize many of these symptoms, I recommend that you explore the possibility of ADD further.

Several individuals with ADD often experience conflicts due to some of these symptoms like procrastination or being late. This can create frustrations for parents, teachers or friends because it can be interpreted as a lack of interest.

Individuals with ADD do have their share of challenges within the school system & often fail to complete their studies. Therefore, it can be difficult for those individuals to find their path in life leading to anxiety, stress or even depression.

Just by exploring the options & being open for a diagnose can transform the lives of children with ADD and not only them but also the parents as they develop a deeper understanding of their child.  The brain of individuals with ADD works differently in receiving information & therefore it leads to struggles.

I hope this article will raise awareness for parents & not only parents but individuals with ADD that potentially don’t know about it.

Just being aware of it can make a huge difference in the quality of life of individuals with ADD.

Contact me for more information or for booking an appointment or online therapy: 

Contact me

Picture by: Mads Christensen








Certain individuals loose weight when vacationing despite less exercise & poorer food habits

Recent research shows that certain individuals lose weight when vacationing despite higher calorie intake & less exercise. It is a particular group that this applies to: Those who live a very stressful life. These are e.g. those with small children, those who are under a lot of strain at work, or students in demanding studies. There is a strong relationship between weight gain and stress. The cortisol stress hormone increases significantly when we are under stress and affects our blood sugar and insulin levels. When the blood sugar then drops significantly, we crave fatty and sugary foods.

When we are experiencing stress and take a vacation, the stress usually decreases, and consequently, the levels of stress hormones drop. If you’re one of the those who lost weight during your holiday it could be due to too much strain in your daily life. It is time to look at how you could reduce stress-inducing factors.

There are many simple ways to reduce stress hormones and promote weight loss. The simplest advice is to eat slower, but way too many eat too fast. What happens when people eat too fast is that food intake becomes greater as it usually takes the body around 20 minutes to feel full.

Additionally have studies shown that for those who eat slowly, the body absorbs the nutrients better than those who, for example, eat the same food but eat it fast. Those who eat faster get hungry sooner and therefore absorb more calories than needed. Mindfulness eating (eating slow & being present) is probably the easiest, cheapest and most effective “diet” available. Mindfulness eating has even helped certain individuals with food addiction.

Long term stress not only contributes to weight gain but can also trigger depression so there is always a need to balance your life and minimize stressful factors.

Symptoms of stress can be numerous and vary from one person to the next. Symptoms can include skin problems such as bumps or itching, dyspepsia, too little sleep, excessive heart rate or increased sweating to name a few. In addition, stress has a major effect on the immune system. Individuals who are often sick or have repeated infections should be especially aware of this.

It should be attractive for everyone to reduce stress. If finding a time to cope with your stress is a problem you can think about all the time that you spend on being sick, visiting the doctor or running after medicines. By drastically reducing such wastes of time, you can gain time by reducing stressful factors in your life. Hence it will result in a long term investment for your mental and physical health.

Contact me for more information or for booking an appointment or online therapy/coaching: 

Contact me

 Picture by: Snæþór Sigurbjörn Halldórsson